diagnosis

A diagnosis of cancer comes as a terrible blow to most people of any age, but to a young person in his or her teens, when you are embarking on a crucial journey in exploring your world, it can be deeply distressing to have to put your life as you have known it on hold.

The suddenness of this realisation can be hard to bear. There might have been long delays in finding out what was wrong with you, you may have lost contact with your friends and school through hospital appointments and feeling poorly, and you are suddenly faced with the information about what your diagnosis means and what treatment you will need to undergo. This a frightening and daunting prospect and you may feel as if you have lost all control over the things happening in your life.

fear

You will probably also feel very frightened and may not feel able to ask all the questions you have in your mind. You may feel that since your parents are already so shocked and upset, you should keep your fears to yourself and not burden them. You may feel uncertain about what, if anything, you should say to your friends. You may be afraid that your friends will shun or avoid you because cancer is such a difficult thing to think about. You might think too about the fact that cancer is a disease that people can die from. You may become very focused on this fear or you may tell yourself that you are not afraid of that happening to you. You may deny that this is a possibility at all.

anger

You may well feel very angry as you see other young people go about their lives in the same way as before, while your life has become completely altered by your diagnosis.

why me?

You may ask the question 'why me?' over and over again. You may become tearful and irritable, finding that having a good argument with your brother or sister is preferable to thinking and worrying on your own. You will probably feel sad and lonely, because nobody else knows exactly how it feels for you.

what I am feeling keeps changing

What might feel difficult is how your emotions can change very quickly - so quickly you can barely keep up with them. One minute you might feel bright and relaxed or occupied with something interesting, and the very next, you may feel panicky and miserable. These are very typical ways of feeling when you have been shocked and shaken up by difficult news. If there is someone you can talk openly with about your feelings, like your mum or dad, it is a good idea to do so.

Suddenly, on receiving a diagnosis of cancer, when it is apparent your life will undergo many changes, you will probably find that you need the support of your family very much. This may come as a surprise to you, given how independent you have probably become. You might feel ashamed to show them how much you need them, but is very important that you let them know how you are feeling. It can sometimes be very hard to feel like a young child rather than a mature teenager. This isn't actually unusual and whatever our age, all through life's changes, we can feel young and helpless at times of stress and upset.

It might be useful to look in helping yourself for some ideas on how to cope.