Illness can make relationships complicated. Both of you will have a mixture of feelings. You might be scared that your partner won’t get better. They could be worried that you won’t stick around while they’re ill. This could make you both feel insecure. Try to be honest with each other. Young people with cancer often need to know that their relationships will stay the same.
what do you say?
It can be hard to know what to do or what to say to your partner. Sometimes you just can’t put your feelings into words. But there's no need to treat them any differently from before. One of the most important things you can do is to be yourself.
listening can be really helpful
Your partner might want to talk about the cancer, the treatments or how they’re feeling. They won’t expect you to have answers. Just having you listen to them can be helpful. It will also help you understand some of what they’re going through.
they might look different for a while
The changes that cancer and its treatments can make to the way someone looks can be hard to deal with. These changes can be temporary (such as hair loss or weight changes), or permanent (like scars or losing a limb). It can take time for your partner to adjust to how they look. They’ll probably also be worried about how you will feel towards them. It can help to reassure them that you still feel the same about them.
it can affect their fertility
Sometimes cancer or the treatments can affect the person’s ability to have children (fertility). For some young people, this affects their dreams and plans for the future. Some people will want to talk about how this makes them feel. For others, it might not seem important. You can read more about i tin our sex and fertility section.
dealing with your feelings
It can be hard for us to see someone we care for upset. This can make us feel upset too. But it’s important that your partner can show their feelings if they want to. And it’s OK for you to show yours. Don’t feel that you have to always be strong for them.
Your partner might not feel like doing all the usual things with you for a while. It can be a good idea to think of different things you could both enjoy.
There’s no right or wrong thing to do. Just go with whatever feels right for both of you.
