This can be a difficult decision as it may affect other aspects of your life – such as your relationships with a partner, friends and family members. Everyone is different and the decision about whether to have a fertility test is completely yours.
things to think about
- Some people find that living with the uncertainty of not knowing whether they are able to have children is more stressful than knowing. Regardless of whether or not they are in a long-term relationship, or ready to start a family yet, they prefer to find out if they can have children. This can help them to feel more in control and able to start to plan their future. This might include working out how to deal with new relationships and how to discuss this information with their partner.
- It’s important to realise that a fertility test may not clearly show if you can have children or not.
- Some people may find it enough to get information about the different options available for becoming a parent. These can include medical treatments or adoption. They may then delay having their fertility tested until later. It’s important that you feel emotionally ready to have a fertility test.
- Other people in your life, for example your partner or parents, may feel that they need to know whether your fertility has been affected. Although this may seem like a good reason for finding out, the decision to have the test should be yours.
- Think about what effect the test may have on you. If you’re worrying a lot about whether or not you can have children, finding out if you are fertile may really help you. Another way of dealing with worry or feelings is by having counselling. You can look at all the options for help before deciding whether to have the test.
- You need to feel ready to cope with the results, whatever they are, so it’s important to know that you have people who can support you.
- If you have a partner or other people who may be affected by the results of the test, it may be helpful to talk through with them beforehand how you might cope together. Talking can help you be clearer about what you are both hoping for from the future and how the results of a fertility test might affect this.
- Even if the result of the test indicates that you can have children, any partner that you have won’t necessarily know whether or not they’re fertile. So the test is still no guarantee that you’ll be able to have children with them.
when is a good time?
Some people prefer not to find out about their fertility until they reach a particular point in their life, such as:
- when they feel emotionally strong enough to deal with
the results - when they reach a certain age
- when they have met the person that they see as their long-term partner
- when they want to start a family.
Your decision is also likely to depend on how you’re coping more generally after having cancer. It may also be affected by what else is going on in your life.
If you have other major demands, such as taking exams, leaving education, leaving home or starting a new job, these are likely to be stressful and challenging. In this case you may not want to add the emotional effects of having a fertility test.
who can help?
As fertility testing is a big step to take, you might find it useful to talk through your thoughts and feelings with other people. These can include:
- your partner (if you have one)
- trusted friends
- family members
- professionals such as doctors, nurses, social workers or counsellors.
